these days

i remember the airport gates. your teary eyes and the way i thought i was hurting you, both of you. i wanted to leave both times but i wasnt sure if you thought differently. i remember the mornings we would stand in the mirror searching for similiarities when deep down we knew. and the way we would wear the same things and although you would tell me to change or declare that you were, you wouldnt. the silent mornings rides to school with music playing an understanding melody of comfort. you are my rock. i remember the morning i woke up to the tv on. it is never on in the morning. her frantic voice while she tells me that the towers have been hit. seventh grade and i didnt know what they were or the importance of that morning. then i saw the pictures and the people. kids at recess were playing like it was any other day, my body shook with anger. at the people who continue their lives without thought of the world around them. then i cried because someones dad didnt come that night. those people knew they were going to die. i remember valentines day 2003. she was just in seventh grade and had been living with the knowledge that she was soon to die. lights were dim, music was pounding throught everyones body and for her, it was her final beat. in the middle of the dance floor she stopped. she was picked up and i remember her head, so vividly, it flopped back, like right then and there her life left her. maybe that was her favorite song. i remember first seeing you. in the parking lot and i tried to play it cool listening to my music pretending to not know you showed up yet. that night was the beginning :)